Consolidated Business & Enterprise Computing Rant Thread

Discussion in 'Business & Enterprise Computing' started by elvis, Jul 1, 2008.

  1. power

    power Member

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    wait, i can get some gubberment monies?

    I just wanted to download *important super secret file on dropbox*
     
  2. cvidler

    cvidler Member

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    nah it'll probably go and be wasted by DTA and ASD.
     
  3. NSanity

    NSanity Member

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    Open S3 Bucket w/ their keypass in it.
     
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  4. Great_Guru

    Great_Guru Member

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  5. m0n4g3

    m0n4g3 Member

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    Funny story...

    So i'm in the digging rocks out of the dirt industry... We had a "cultural and happiness" survey done to the whole company and pretty much, IT was at the bottom of the barrel.

    When it came time to actually present findings and do recommendations, IT got removed from the entire presentation because we are just a unique situation and shouldn't be counted towards the goal.

    :thumbup:
     
  6. Arctic_Silver08

    Arctic_Silver08 Member

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    The irony in this is how fucked they'd be without IT.
     
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  7. power

    power Member

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  8. DivHunter

    DivHunter Member

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    "why can't I open this file?!"
    "Because it's ransomware, that's why there is a pop-up on your screen every time you try to open it that says it is ransomware and you have been blocked from running it."
    "I see"
    "Do you though?"
     
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  9. m0n4g3

    m0n4g3 Member

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    As i always say.... let's see how they would fair with pidgeons and doing their blast calculations on paper, hell what about actually driving to a higher standard rather than relying on a 5million dollar project to implement 4g LTE underground via leeky feeder, and getting full position reporting back to our offices via said 4g network, for collision detection....

    OH WAIT... nah we don't need IT ;)
     
  10. OP
    OP
    elvis

    elvis Old school old fool

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    I hear variations of this everywhere I go. Whether it's not counting IT in something because they're not a profit centre, or not counting IT because they aren't production/customer facing, or not counting IT because "fuck it, we just don't understand it".

    Queue the Carl Sagan quote about how many people rely on technology for daily existence, but how few actually understand it. And in the generation of iPhones and social media, it's only getting worse.
     
  11. bcann

    bcann Member

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    IT shoulda just went in and turned out the lights and turned off the machines/AMPS/Projectors in that presentation room, then they'd be stuffed. :)
     
  12. Arctic_Silver08

    Arctic_Silver08 Member

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    Heck, turn off the lights and you'll probably have at least one person on the phone to IT...
     
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  13. power

    power Member

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    just one?
     
  14. Arctic_Silver08

    Arctic_Silver08 Member

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    :p


    Edit: From my experience with Miners, most of em would use any fault as an excuse to stop work for the day an crack open a cold one.

    YMMV!
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2019
  15. blankpaper

    blankpaper Member

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    Last year's employee satisfaction survey (5-way multi-choice - strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree, strongly disagree), we were instructed not to use the 'neutral' multi-choice answer because it's counted as a negative and instead guided to use 'agree' as our new 'neutral'.

    Whaddya know, results are in and overwhelming employee satisfaction according to our pretty graphs guys! Bonuses all round for upper management! :thumbup:
     
  16. dave_dave_dave

    dave_dave_dave Member

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    User: Can you please allow $ransomware to run because its pivotal to my job.
     
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  17. OP
    OP
    elvis

    elvis Old school old fool

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    Heh. I've never in my life worked for a company that dared to do an employee satisfaction survey more than once.

    The first time is typically a massive shock to management. Then they just give up on even pretending to care.
     
  18. dave_dave_dave

    dave_dave_dave Member

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    Or my personal favorite, i had happen recently.

    "Sorry we don't have an I.T. budget for the new site, as we forgot to include it in the site proposal"
     
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  19. millsy

    millsy Member

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    Gotta hand it to my work on that front, they've done it yearly since I joined, and show year to year comparisons, even if stuff is worse.
     
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  20. OP
    OP
    elvis

    elvis Old school old fool

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    I'm working on three separate jobs right now, all with $0 IT budget.

    And yet, somehow the whole job impinges on whether or not the kit on site is up to the spec of copying floptillions of terrorbytes of data around in a 24 hour period with no room for failure or retry should it not work on the first attempt.

    Yehawww, six shooters, ten gallon hats and spurs, baby!
     

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