Consolidated Business & Enterprise Computing Rant Thread

Discussion in 'Business & Enterprise Computing' started by elvis, Jul 1, 2008.

  1. PabloEscobar

    PabloEscobar Member

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    Its not a circle if you give it a different name.

    Instead of Time-Share, you call it "Cloud"
     
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  2. chook

    chook Member

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    I remember saying this to a group of the sys admins at my last job and, with the exception of one dude, they looked at me all weird. Once upon a time we had mainframes with dumb terminals. Then we got desktop computers. I often explain it that we moved from what I call centralised computing to distributed computing and now we are going back.

    To quote Oscar Wilde, "[f]ashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."

    "Cloud" (a term I actually hate) isn't a state, it is a spectrum with a number of different configuration options. Given that the job of IT is to enable the business, IT has a responsibility to find the best technology that provides that enablement. Sometimes that is on-premise, sometimes it is off-premise and sometimes it is in the middle. For people that work in an industry that changes so quickly I often find it comical who resistant to change IT often is.
     
  3. GumbyNoTalent

    GumbyNoTalent Member

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    Once apon a time we all ran mainframes and all the different applications ran partitioned in individual VMs, and usually the mainframes where housed in a building far far away and we connected to it via modems, hmmmm... sounds awfully cloudy PaaS to me.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VM_(operating_system)
     
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  4. PabloEscobar

    PabloEscobar Member

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    Yet, when I ask in an Interview, "Where on the Spectrum are you" I never seem to get the job.
     
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  5. Hive

    Hive Member

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    [​IMG]


    It's 2020. You need:
    • Everything as a service
    • Product must be used by other companies "But company X does it this way we should do the same!!"
    • Product must have more money spent on marketing and wankers in sales than actually developing a good product that would sell itself
    • Name must resonate with the millenial generation
    • Absofuckinglutely must be a pay per month per person model, but lock you in for 18 years
    • Enough vendor lock in to be considered BDSM
    • Products full of hidden costs, extras, premium packages, "Oh that will require consultation time" that when all added up and weighed against a traditional model, cost an absolute fortune
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2020
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  6. PabloEscobar

    PabloEscobar Member

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    Darktrace and Splunk sponsoring Mclaren F1 team...
     
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  7. cvidler

    cvidler Member

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    so Exchange will now be know as either.

    E6e
    or
    xch.ng
    or
    Exchangrr

    because english is hard, letters are redundant.
     
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  8. Hive

    Hive Member

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    Exchange is a bit bland, we need to rebrand.
     
  9. OP
    OP
    elvis

    elvis Old school old fool

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    Ask me how I know you're old.
     
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  10. Hive

    Hive Member

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    Old enough to know better!
     
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  11. looktall

    looktall Working Class Doughnut

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    But still young enough to not give a shit.
     
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  12. bcann

    bcann Member

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    And suddenly i got interested in cloud. Can i bring my own toys to this lock in?
     
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  13. cvidler

    cvidler Member

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    the safe word is a P521 elliptic curve
     
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  14. DavidRa

    DavidRa Member

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    No, you have to share all the toys with other people. We won't tell you who, and if someone else gets sick we're pretty sure you won't catch it.

    You pay only 10% of the price of the toy every month. If you like a toy, we might change it to another toy that we promise will deliver the same outcomes, but you'll have to change how you use the toy. There are lots of other toys that you can pay for as you use them, but we'll choose when each toy is available.

    Also, the toys may not be EXACTLY like the ones you want, and if you change to another toy provider all the toys will be subtly different in ways you may or may not like. If you want to have the same toys available all the time, you'll need to pay a second toy provider for the same toys. Also, the toys might be broken for you when you want them; if they are, we'll claim they were available somewhere else so we don't have to refund anything.
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2020
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  15. PabloEscobar

    PabloEscobar Member

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    Can you at least tell me when the batteries will be recharged?
     
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  16. OP
    OP
    elvis

    elvis Old school old fool

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    I was pushing for "Mainframes in spaaaaaaaace" years ago. Never caught on.
     
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  17. bcann

    bcann Member

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    Yeah i think i'll still stick to the BYOT Model, not RSET (Rent Someone Elses Toys)
    We will charge your for charging 24/7 but don't guarantee the ability to charge enough that you can use your toys to your total satisfaction, if you want satisfaction guaranteed* that is extra per month. and to get that Guarantee* you need to subscribe to several other services, all of which are extra.

    *Guaranteed doesn't actually mean guaranteed.
     
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  18. DavidRa

    DavidRa Member

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    It's what I use ... And if anyone asks I refer them to the Muppets.
     
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  19. GumbyNoTalent

    GumbyNoTalent Member

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    If anyone needs to ask they are a MUPPET!
     
  20. 7nothing

    7nothing Member

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    That one command can make the maintainers un-deprecate something so it lasts forever?

    Shit. Wish I knew.
     

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