Discussion in 'Business & Enterprise Computing' started by elvis, Jul 1, 2008.
Its not a circle if you give it a different name.
Instead of Time-Share, you call it "Cloud"
I remember saying this to a group of the sys admins at my last job and, with the exception of one dude, they looked at me all weird. Once upon a time we had mainframes with dumb terminals. Then we got desktop computers. I often explain it that we moved from what I call centralised computing to distributed computing and now we are going back.
To quote Oscar Wilde, "[f]ashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
"Cloud" (a term I actually hate) isn't a state, it is a spectrum with a number of different configuration options. Given that the job of IT is to enable the business, IT has a responsibility to find the best technology that provides that enablement. Sometimes that is on-premise, sometimes it is off-premise and sometimes it is in the middle. For people that work in an industry that changes so quickly I often find it comical who resistant to change IT often is.
Once apon a time we all ran mainframes and all the different applications ran partitioned in individual VMs, and usually the mainframes where housed in a building far far away and we connected to it via modems, hmmmm... sounds awfully cloudy PaaS to me.
Yet, when I ask in an Interview, "Where on the Spectrum are you" I never seem to get the job.
It's 2020. You need:
Everything as a service
Product must be used by other companies "But company X does it this way we should do the same!!"
Product must have more money spent on marketing and wankers in sales than actually developing a good product that would sell itself
Name must resonate with the millenial generation
Absofuckinglutely must be a pay per month per person model, but lock you in for 18 years
Enough vendor lock in to be considered BDSM
Products full of hidden costs, extras, premium packages, "Oh that will require consultation time" that when all added up and weighed against a traditional model, cost an absolute fortune
Darktrace and Splunk sponsoring Mclaren F1 team...
so Exchange will now be know as either.
because english is hard, letters are redundant.
Exchange is a bit bland, we need to rebrand.
Ask me how I know you're old.
Old enough to know better!
But still young enough to not give a shit.
And suddenly i got interested in cloud. Can i bring my own toys to this lock in?
the safe word is a P521 elliptic curve
No, you have to share all the toys with other people. We won't tell you who, and if someone else gets sick we're pretty sure you won't catch it.
You pay only 10% of the price of the toy every month. If you like a toy, we might change it to another toy that we promise will deliver the same outcomes, but you'll have to change how you use the toy. There are lots of other toys that you can pay for as you use them, but we'll choose when each toy is available.
Also, the toys may not be EXACTLY like the ones you want, and if you change to another toy provider all the toys will be subtly different in ways you may or may not like. If you want to have the same toys available all the time, you'll need to pay a second toy provider for the same toys. Also, the toys might be broken for you when you want them; if they are, we'll claim they were available somewhere else so we don't have to refund anything.
Can you at least tell me when the batteries will be recharged?
I was pushing for "Mainframes in spaaaaaaaace" years ago. Never caught on.
Yeah i think i'll still stick to the BYOT Model, not RSET (Rent Someone Elses Toys)
We will charge your for charging 24/7 but don't guarantee the ability to charge enough that you can use your toys to your total satisfaction, if you want satisfaction guaranteed* that is extra per month. and to get that Guarantee* you need to subscribe to several other services, all of which are extra.
*Guaranteed doesn't actually mean guaranteed.
It's what I use ... And if anyone asks I refer them to the Muppets.
If anyone needs to ask they are a MUPPET!
That one command can make the maintainers un-deprecate something so it lasts forever?
Shit. Wish I knew.