Orange Noodles: Bought to you by Bachelor Chow!

Discussion in 'Geek Recipes' started by andyroo54, Jan 14, 2012.

  1. andyroo54

    andyroo54 Member

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    Hi there, thanks for stopping by.

    So today I thought I would show you how to make what over the years has affectionately become known as "Orange noodles". Our Mum makes them, well a little differently, this is our (my brother and I's) our variant on the traditional, well, I wouldn't call it a recipe, more like a kilojoule trail wreck. I hold no responsibility for anyone that incurs a heart attack at upon eating this.

    Disclaimers aside I'm gunna run you through the series of things you need to do in order to enjoy the most delicious bachelor chow you can possibly imagine. Great for parties, gaming nights, hangovers, laziness, and STD's.

    Ok so I'll actually list the ingredients as I go along, because I feel like it.


    So the first thing I usually do is chop up the onion. If you have a big onion, then one is ok. If it's medium, then you might want two. So let's say two onions. You're gunna need to cut them up, I'll let you decide how finely you want to cut them up.

    Now you're gunna wanna lightly brown them in some nice olive oil, other types of oil are ok, but it tastes better cooked in olive oil. (Am I right men?!)

    [​IMG]
    Mmmm onion.. Who knew?!



    You might want to add some crushed garlic to the onion once it's cooked a bit, as garlic tends to burn very quickly. Ok, so now you need to combine some Bacon into that onion.
    Now I prefer rasher bacon that has been cut up by yourself, in this example I lazily purchased "diced bacon" which no doubt contains more parts of the Pig than you would expect. So you're gunna wanna get that nice and cooked with the Bacon.



    [​IMG]
    Hey good looking..



    Now so far you've got enough to call it a day and just eat the onion/garlic/bacon mix. It is delicious. Now you should have had a large pot of water on the boil by now, I did mention that didn't I? Well chuck in a bag of your favorite pasta and cook that good.



    [​IMG]
    the percolations are imminent


    I should mention at this point that, while not strictly nessescary, it is useful to have a K9 or small child on hand to clean up any bacon/onion/pasta that may fall to the floor while cooking. Save you from having to bend over, plus it cleans your floor!



    [​IMG]
    Muddy was so far feeling unfulfilled in her life, and looking quite a bit like the Caddy from Happy Gilmore




    Ok now that the pasta is cooked, you're gunna wanna drain it, and rinse it to make it less disgusting. Now what you need to do is combine the bacon/onion in there, like so:



    [​IMG]
    CAPTION NOT FOUND



    Now the next two steps are difficult, and require intense concentration. Once the Bacon/onion is mixed well, now you need to finish it off. First you need some Cheese. Cheese is instrumental in this food, it's like the fabric of society, it binds us together, like the higgs boson of the food world. There are other pretenders out there, but you can't beat cheese.

    Now I use "home brand" (woolworths) "Light Tasty" cheese. I've tried others, but it's just not the same, this is amazingly good cheese for this purpose. Mix this stuff into the mix.



    [​IMG]
    pretty, pretty, prettttyy good. Pretty good.



    Now the final ingredient. HEINZ BIG RED. Not to be confused with a giant ranga prostitute, heinz big red is hands down the best tomato soup on the market. Go ahead a put as much as this stuff in there as you can. It's amazing. Note, I'm making a pretty big pot here, you can scale this method up or down depending on how much of a loser you are.




    [​IMG]
    Did you know there are at least 100 billion planets in the Milky way?>



    Ok now after some serious mixage, it should look something like this:



    [​IMG]
    I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.



    Ok so what you do next depend on you. Traditionally we usually put this into a casserole dish and cook the heck out of it in the oven at 180 or so, for around a halfa.

    These days we usually just pile it into bowls, then heat them in the microwave as required.



    [​IMG]
    So that made 7 (you can only see 6, one was already in the microwave, it's that popular!)



    That's it. All done. Now you can sit back, watch your favorite TV show (if you watch and enjoy "the big bang theory", please don't comment in my thread, and please try to do some good with your life) and eat your ORANGE NOODLES.



    [​IMG]
    You can notice the orange colour, hence the name.



    ¬°buen provecho
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2012
  2. scon

    scon Member

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    Ah, bachelor chow - it's been awhile! I can see this going real well with chopped up bits of cooked sausages stirred through.
     
  3. Loadingdread

    Loadingdread Member

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    Im doing that right now with those continental pasta packets. Add a cup or 2 of frozen vegies and bachelor chow is served.
     
  4. OP
    OP
    andyroo54

    andyroo54 Member

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    I lived off them for about a month or so. I would come home from work, put two of those on, and then eat them watching battle star galactica. Middle of winter, heater was broken, but I had the side dish noodles, and BSG, to keep me warm...Those were the days..99cents can't beat that!
     
  5. svendenhowser

    svendenhowser Member

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    We do something similar but a bit different. We cook the pasta entirely separately (no mixing with the other ingredients until served on plate) and with the bacon/onion/garlic mixture add a small container of cream, a couple of tablespoons of tomato paste and a couple of tablespoons of sweet chilli sauce. Now that IS orange..
     
  6. BlueRaven

    BlueRaven Member

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    Amusing commentary. :)

    Sauteed onion/garlic/bacon is like a concrete slab for bachelor food... so much can be built upon it. Nice idea to add the soup as a sauce base, I think I have a tin of condensed tomato soup in the cupboard so I'll be trying something like this shortly. Cheers.
     
  7. sjobeck

    sjobeck Member

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    What have they got to do with STDs? Do you spread the sauce somewhere?
     
  8. OP
    OP
    andyroo54

    andyroo54 Member

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    I don't need to.
     
  9. GreyWolfe01

    GreyWolfe01 Member

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    I sub salami/pepperoni in for the bacon and possibly use less soup, but the basic idea of tasty meat product + cheese + sauce + carbs can't be beat :)
     
  10. htpcfan

    htpcfan Member

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    my variation of bachelor chow is:

    cook noodles, then add in a cup of peas and a cup of corn kernals. when cooked, drain, wash and stir in a tin of tuna (break tuna into small chunks), then throw in a whole stack of shredded cheese.

    I'm not a bachelor anymore but we have this at least once a week (Tuesdays seem to be popular for some reason) and the 4 year old daughter goes absolutley ballistic when she finds out what's for tea - it's her favourite meal (and a good way for her to get some fishy goodness).
     
  11. plasticbastard

    plasticbastard Member

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    How well does the tomato sauce stick to the pasta? Rinsing away & getting rid of all that lovely starchy water is a crime in my opinion. I usually reserve half a cup of it so I can add it to the sauce to help it stick properly to the pasta.
     
  12. OP
    OP
    andyroo54

    andyroo54 Member

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    It sticks perfectly. Gotta use heinz.
     
  13. Alex92

    Alex92 Member

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    I have made this as described a couple times and its awesome! The exact instructions the same as yours from start to finish were from a kids cook book I got when I was a kid lol
     
  14. bwodie

    bwodie Member

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    for the record, the best soup is Rosella :)
     
  15. OP
    OP
    andyroo54

    andyroo54 Member

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    For the record, you are wrong.
     
  16. cwisfa

    cwisfa Member

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    Love the captions.
     
  17. OP
    OP
    andyroo54

    andyroo54 Member

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    Ha that's funny, especially considering your name (Alex 92) because my younger brother alex totally loves these, and he was born around 92.. (he's 19 so whatever that is).
     
  18. raisinberry777

    raisinberry777 Member

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    Just made this then, tastes great, definitely will be making it more. How much cheese do you use?
     
  19. zdream

    zdream Member

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    I agree. Homebrand cheese = the best
     
  20. Grom Hellscream

    Grom Hellscream Member

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    I'm sorry to break it to you, but this can't be considered bachelor chow for several reasons:

    1) It's not cooked using either a BBQ or microwave. Bachelors don't cook, they char-grill. Anything that can't be char-grilled gets zapped.

    2) It's something your mother makes. Generally mothers don't char-grill everything on the BBQ. Refer no.1

    3) It's not wrapped in bacon. The bacon in the dish is a fantastic start, but make a weave of bacon, lay some of this stuff down, wrap it up and char-grill it, and you have the stuff of legends.

    (btw looks tasty, will have to give it a go :lol: )
     

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