Programming Jokes Thread

Was thinking a thread for programming related jokes could be good.

I'll start:

Code:

    public boolean isEqual(int a, int b) {
        try {
            int c = 1/(a-b);
        } catch (ArithmeticException e) {
            return true;
        }
    
        return false;
    }

 

Oh No! The robots are trying to kill us!
But why?! We never programmed them to do this!

Code:

static bool isCrazyMurderingRobot = false;

void interactWithHumans()
{
    if(isCrazyMurderingRobot = true)
        kill(humans);
    else
        beNiceTo(humans);
}

 

Person: Would you like a tea, or a coffee?
Programmer: Yes

 

I dunno why but i found this guys hilarious

edit: Also this for lols
https://www.stilldrinking.org/programming-sucks

 

Yeah that is kinda funny, thought he would take it further tho
that "programming-sucks" link is gold though

 

A room mate asked his friend who is a programmer to go shopping.
"hey, can you buy a bottle of milk? Oh and if they have eggs, buy 12"
So the programmer went shopping.
When he got back, he bought 12 bottle of milk and his room mate asked
"why the heck did you bought 12 bottle of milk?!"
The programmer responded.
"they have eggs"

The next day, the same programmer's roommate calls him to ask where he is.
"I'm back at the grocery," says the programmer.
"While you're there, pick up some bread. Thanks!" says the roommate.
The programmer never comes home.

 

I thought this was pretty funny

https://www.google.com.au/search?&q=delta+list

Inspect the content of first result, second post.

(In case the SEO is different for you)

Spoiler

Link is to XKCD forums.

The answer to the question is that the OP should google and inspect the first link for the answer.

++SEObestcontent2019;

 

This is getting some attention: https://fibery.io/anxiety

 

A REAL programmers keyboard.


If you need more than this, you're not programming you're scripting.

 

JSmith

 

heh - https://github.com/undefinedbuddy/vanilla

 

https://twitter.com/SusanPotter/status/1296292012925358080