Simple recipies for lazy people like me.

Background.......
On another part of this forum, a few people were recently talking about recent life changes & discussing packet ready made meals etc.

So..... This is post 1 of hopefully a handful of really simple meals you can cook with zero cooking skills & get a better and cheaper meal than some salt filled horse scrotum lasagna from the supermarket.
There is nothing gourmet here. Nothing fancy. Just easy to cook meals.

My plan is to take a couple of pics & post a simple recipe & instructions every time I make something worthy. If you think you have something suitable, please add it here.

So.........
Home cooked butterflied chicken...

Ingredients.
Grab a 2 ish KG Chook from Coles/ Woolies/ IGA or whatever you have close by. I'll base cooking time on 2kg. If you get a smaller one, cook it a bit less or a bigger one a bit more....
You also want.
Ground Oregano (or just italian herbs will do).
Ground smoked paprika (Not necessary but worth it)
Salt
Oil (I use olive but pretty much any will do).

Preheat the oven or hooded BBQ to around 185c.

Now there is one slightly tricky part in this & I didn't take any pics (I will later & add them). You need to cut the backbone out of the bird with some heavy scissors or shears. You can do it with a knife but I don't recommend it unless you know what you are doing.

Start at the bum end of the bird & run your shears up either side of the backbone. Hold the Parson's nose (tail) & work your way towards the neck. You can start at the neck but it's easier to get through the hip part if you start at the bum. Once that's done, flip the bird over & push down hard on the chest of the bird. You should hear a crack & the bird should flatten out. The Chook is now butterflied. Don;t be too fussy, if it looks about right, it is.

Rub a small amount of the oil all over the skin & then season with the Oregano, Paprika & Salt. Don't try to bury it, just a light sprinkle all over will do.

Bung the bird on a rack in a tray if you are cooking in an indoor oven. If you don't have a rack, cover a tray with foil & put it on that (easier to clean up afterwards). If you're cooking on a BBQ with a hood, just bung it on the hotplate & use a burner that isn't directly under the bird. I prefer cooking on the BBQ as you get some burning of the juices on the hotplate which sort of smokes it.

Cook for around 45 minutes. Note this is the cooking time for a butterflied Chook. If cooking whole you'll need around double that time.

There are 2 ways I use to check if the Chook is cooked.
The easy way is buy a meat thermometer & stick it into the thigh near the joint. If it's at 75 degrees C it's ready.
The other way is to give it an extra 5 mins & then cut the bird open. If it's translucent inside or bloody, it needs a bit more.

You now have enough to feed one person for at least 4 meals. Use leftovers in wrap bread with salad, on a bread roll with some gravy or coleslaw, you can even fry it up with a few vegetable leftovers for Bubble & Squeak.

Please feel free to add your simple recipes below. I'll try to add another later this week.

 

One Pot Creamy Tuna Pasta w/ Tomatoes

So this is one I've had for a while and keep tweaking to make it lazier instead of better. The best part? Minimal cleaning, it's all just done in one pot. It's possibly sort of healthy? Gets some veg in you, anyway. Cut down on the mascarpone if you want it healthier or add more veggies. Use low sodium stock to cut down on salt, there's plenty in the cheese anyway.

Ingredients:
2 cups of dried macaroni (if you're using a larger pasta, increase quantity. I use macaroni that tends to grow a lot with absorbing the liquid below)
1 onion
1 carrot
1-2 celery stalks (honestly, just add/remove more vegetables to taste)
Garlic (I go about 3 cloves, so a regular recipe would probably be one)
olive oil
410g can of cherry tomatoes (use fresh if you feel like it, works as well). Go a big can if you like tomatoes
500ml-1L of stock (depending on what other liquid is going in)
largish splash of white wine (or use stock)
180g can of tuna (or whatever is around that size)
100g mascarpone (about 3 tablespoons ish?)
parmesan (I dunno how much, a very small handful? Basically what you'd put on pasta for 4 people)
capers (not really sure how much, I just have a jar in the fridge and throw a bunch in. So "to taste")
squirt of lemon juice

First off, make what I think is a soffritto, cook the carrot/onion/celery in olive oil for a few minutes, throwing in the garlic a couple of minutes after the first bits (because I find I always burn it otherwise). Throw in a bit of wine and unstick anything from the pan you inevitably stuck on and make up some nice flavours. Put in the stock, tomatoes and pasta, bring to boil then turn down to a simmer for 20 minutes. Basically you want the tomatoes to break down and the pasta to absorb most the liquid. Tip on the stock, if you're using wine and canned tomatoes (which have more liquid) or like your pasta really al dente, go with 500ml and add water as needed. If there's no wine and fresh tomatoes use 1L. If it's steaming too much and loses too much liquid that way, just add more water. If you're 15 minutes in and it looks like soup, turn the heat up.

After this turn off the heat entirely, break up your tuna in the can with a fork and dump it in, along with the mascarpone, cheeses, lemon juice and capers. Throw in some salt and pepper as well, because that's what a good cook does. Give it a good mix and put the lid on it for 5-10 minutes (or just let it sit while you finish the TV episode you started while waiting the 20 minutes above, it'll sit happily for a while). If you're feeling fancy, add parsley at the end or throw in dry parsley somewhere in the middle.

 

Lazy meals? Here you go

Ingredients
A pack of pre made tabouli
Some marinated chicken skewers (I like the lemon and herb)
A bag or cup of pre packaged microwave rice
Salt/pepper/tabasco/whatever extra flavours you feel like
Oil (I like extra virgin olive oil for basically everything, or butter, but both have low smoke points, so be wary)

For a single person, I recommend 1 x 125g cup of rice, 3 chicken skewers and half a tub of tabouli


Remove the chicken from the skewers, while cold the diced prices will still hold together but they should fall apart as they cook.

Heat pan, pour in oil, then throw in chicken pieces, mix constantly (the marinade will char on the pan otherwise) until cooked to your liking

I like to absolutely douse the chicken in buffalo tabasco sauce while cooking, but it all depends on your tastes.

Once the chicken is cooked you're basically done, just heat up the microwave rice, and then throw everything into a bowl, mix together, and voila, easy warm meal.

Go nuts fellow lazies, all I ask is please save some tabouli for me when I go shopping

 

Next round.
Simple chicken.

Ingredients are chicken breast (1 breast side per 2 adults) , Masterfoods Thai spices (the little jar one from Colesworth), a splash of olive oil or similar & salad.

Cut the chicken breast in diagonal slices about 1/2" thick.
Sprinkle with the Thai seasoning.
A little oil in a non stick or cast iron pan (Or BBQ plate) & fry on medium heat until golden brown. Turn over & cook the other side. If you cut it around 1/2 inch thick it'll be cooked through as soon as the outside looks cooked. If not sure, cut a piece in half & look.
Place on paper towel once cooked for a minute to drain any excess oil.

Serve with a simple salad or on wrap bread.

A variation to this is to use a home made KFC coating instead of the Thai.
That is, 1/2 cup of flour, 1/2 tablespoon of table salt, teaspoon of smoked Paprika, a little white pepper & ground oregano.
Put in a ziplock bag & shake to mix, then put your pieces of chicken in & shake around to coat.
You'll need more oil to wet out the flour but you'll end up with a crispy coating which tastes similar to KFC.

5 minute prep time & 10 minute cook time.

 

Sausage rolls.
1kg mince beef.
2 slices of bread soaked in milk.
1 large greater carrot.
A splash of woesteshire, tomato & HP sauce.
Mixed herbs
Frozen puff pastry.
1 egg whisked.

Squeeze the milk out of the bread & mash it up in a bowl with the mince, herbs, carrot & sauces.

Cut a sheet of puff pastry in half & roll the mince mix up into a tube.
1kg mince will fill about 4 sheets of pastry or 8 long rolls.
Cut each roll into 4 & place on a baking tray covered in baking paper.
Brush with egg wash.
Bake for 25-30 mins at 190 degrees.

 

i only do receipes in grams because 1 kitchen scales is easier and better than 439057834598673487563489 measuring cups, hence why my recipes look weird at first.
also, this isn't baking, so most measurements are "use your head". bonus is this form of measurement requires extra laziness.

sorry if some instructions seem "duh", but getting lazy people to cook means removing any doubt.

300g of arborio/risotto/paella rice. can even use 400g of normal rice if you want
1 onion (diced). small one, big one, medium one... pick one. whats already cut up in the fridge?
3 garlic cloves (smooshed)
dash (10g) of smoked paprika, pinch (5g) of thyme, adjust to taste though use your head
1 tin (400g) of diced tomatos (or whole who cares)
some sort of alcohol. usually wine, but if you have none use a spirit. maybe beer would work not sure. 3 good glugs. 50g-ish.
some chicken (left over from when you did the first recipe that -AL- posted top of the page)
800g chicken stock (800g/800ml water + 2 stock cubes if you don't have any fresh stuff). only have vege stock cubes? use them. only have beef? use them. etc
some oil

use a large frying pan with something to cover it. i don't have a lid for mine so i use a pizza stone as a cover.
get the pan hot, add the oil, add a single cube of onion, if it sizzles we're good to go.
dump in the rest of the onion.
fry up the onion until golden (5 mins). this also means use a wooden spoon to continually move it.
leave that pan nice and hot
throw the rice in with the paprika and thyme, let that sit for a minute, stir it through. yep, the dry rice.
after a minute, dump in the alcohol. mix mix mix. the alcohol should boil off. once it does, dump in the stock, garlic and tomatos.
stir it around a bit, let it simmer for about 15 minutes.
after 15 minutes, you should have the rice showing with still some soupy bits around it. too dry? add some stock. too wet? let it cook down some more. just right? good. dump in the chicken.
cover the frypan with the lid, turn the heat down and let it cook for another 5 minutes.
after 5 minutes is done, you have traditional* paella

*paella is tradictionally chicken and rabbit*, not seafood. seafood paella is more for the coastal towns. its almost like paella is made traditionally with whatever ingredients people had at their disposal...


*you can add rabbit. you can add vege too after you're done frying up the onion... got spare carrot? dice it and fry it off before the rice gets dumped in.

 

I LOVE Paella. I only tried it for the first time a few years ago & was hooked from then on.
I do a Chorizo & Prawn version that's freaken awesome if I do say so myself. Not traditional but I don't care.

My recipe is very different to yours. I'll try yours next time I cook it.

 

well... traditionally you'd use whatever there was, no wastage! cause y'know. wasted food is a waste.

heres a fun one for you...

save 100g of the fat you get from cooking your bacon. i saw your other thread heh. save the fat. strain it. once you have 100g of the fat, throw it into a saucepan with 170g of water and 90g of butter. it doesn't need to boil, just the fat and butter needs to disolve into the water.

let it cool slightly

once thats done, add 400g of plain white flour and a pinch of salt. knead it for a minute or so

throw the ball into the fridge, wait for it to cool

et voila

that pastry, rolled out, is pie crust. as in what you make meat pies with. if you were a farmer in 1890. yep. its unreal good.

 

Now with photos



100g fat
90g butter
170g water



400g flour
Pinch of salt


Mix mix mix mix

and then in the fridge to cook

this dough is super easy to work with.

Meanwhile



I’m using pork, beef mince and some onion, as well as some allspice, few herbs etc. It’s a pie filling, make whatever you want. I’m emulating your normal frozen pie here so that’s why I did it like that. Do what you want. Leftovers, chicken, beef, potato, do as you wish



Cook it until it thickens up

and goes brown. Want it super brown like a servo pie? Substitute salt for soy sauce (or add food colouring like they do) and cook it for ages.



Lube up a pie dish. Ok this is a dish from that coles KitchenAid promotion thingo. Who cares. Lube up a vessel. Lard, butter, margarine, whatever you have.



flour it up. This step is super important (you’ll see why in a sec)

Roll out the dough


Super easy


it’s kinda purple cause I use heaps of red wine. Don’t do that. Or do. Do what you want.



Brushed with milk. Tbh beaten egg works better but I had some milk left over so I used that. Use what you have etc.



Mmm pie



this is why you need to lube and flour the pie dish well….



No problems!



et voilà

Heh. Good photography needs good lighting that I don’t have and good luck making a meat pie look good so there you go

I’m not a mum blogger so I’m not going to lie and say OmGgGgGgGg so GoOoOoOoD because tbh. It tastes like a good servo pie.

except way juicier, crunchier and probably costs the same price except for a massive pie over a tiny one. Even less if you factor in leftovers.

it’s a pie. Have pie-like expectations

 

Gotta blind bake the crust first to get crispier bottom

 

this is the lazy thread

out of here you

 

Brown off some mince, add bolognese sauce, simmer (less lazy, brown off some diced onion and bacon first, add some garlic about 60 seconds before adding mince). Dump some pasta in water, turn the *unt up high until it boils, simmer until soft (10 mins). Add everything together on a plate and sprinkle some grated cheese on top.

-----

Thick cut steak, sit it on bench for at least 2 hours. Jab a thermometer into the thickest part, set for 48c (rare), I seem to like 51c on my thermometer which gives med-rare (the sear at end will add more center heat to the steak), stick it in the oven, straight on the top oven rack at 105c, alfoil underneath. Get some heat into the deep fryer now before you forget you lazy fucker. Chop off some broccoli now, because apparently it gets healthier when it sits around for some time, dump it in a non-working steamer. Leave some pre-cooked prawns on the bench. About 2c before your steak reaches it's temp, make the steamer work, add some other healthy shit. Pull the steak out when it reaches temp and sit it on a warm plate, salt and pepper that bitch. Make a frying pan hotter than hell. Dump some packet frozen chips into the deep fryer. Put a packet of preferred sauce in the microwave for 60 seconds. Put the steak on the fire hazard, turn when it's seared. Remove steak when other side is seared and put it on a clean warm plate, turn frying pan off. Add chips and veggies to plate. Put prawns on frying pan for 20 seconds, tops, then turn, and allow to sit for 20 seconds, remove from pan and place on steak, add sauce.

Less lazy.....

Peel some potatoes and boil whole for 15-20 mins. Let them cool so you don't fuck your fingers and slice into thick chips, put in freezer overnight.
The next day, put the cut chips into a deep fryer at 180c for 5-6 mins (pissy little thin ones need less time, thick puppies need a little more time), remove and return to freezer overnight. Add a fuckton of butter, salt, pepper and diced chilli to a pot over a moderate heat until the butter melts. Remove, put it in a bowl and allow to cool. Before it solidifies, add some peeled green (cold) prawns and place in fridge overnight. If you get it right, the prawns should near instantly solidify the butter. If the butter is to hot, and/or, the prawns not cold enough, you'll begin to cook the prawns. Don't do that! Fat prawns = better.
The next day, take a thick cut steak and sit it on a bench for at least 2 hours.
Wash a (some) good sized carrot/s and cut the out of ground end off, slice in half length ways. In an oven pan large enough for your carrots, lay some thinly sliced butter (just enough to lift all of the carrot/s), put the carrot/s on top, sprinkle with tuscan. They need about 40-45 minutes to cook @ 160c, turning occasionally. I usually crank the heat right at the end. They can sit in the oven pan, on the bench, lightly covered with foil for about 10 mins without turning to shit.
Cut that broccoli.
Put the steak in an oven at 105c, not in the oven at 160c with the carrots.
In a pot, add a little butter and melt, add minced garlic. A vampire is going to drink your blood, your life depends on that garlic, make sure you have enough. Add some more just to be safe. If you're still not sure, just add more. Just as the garlic is browning add 3/4 cup of cornflour and stir. Cook for 60 seconds, stir it, don't burn it. Slowly add thickened cream. Add a little, stir. Rinse and repeat until 600ml of cream has been added (I don't know, that's like 4 serves, 2 serves if you're a pig like me (fuck the calories, or maybe the calories will fuck your bodily organs, IDK, I'm not Jenny Craig)). Simmer gently, stir occasionally. After removing from heat add some diced chives. From beginning to end, the sauce gives my desired consistency after about an hour, maybe a little longer.
Get some heat into a deep fryer.
Make the steamer work with broccoli and beans.
If you don't want shit sitting around cooling down, this is where it gets hectic.
Warm a clean plate.
Frying pan so hot even the devil is afraid.
Chips in deep fryer, 180c for 8 mins. Not the packet ones lazy, those other ones you been fucking around with for the last 2 days.
Salt and peppered steak > sear > warm plate
Wipe frying pan, back on heat at 140-150c
Distribute the garlic sauce to fancy serving sized bowls.
Add chips, carrots, broccoli and beans to plate.
Scoop the prawns onto the frying pan with a little extra butter from the bowl, cook for 60 seconds on one side, turn and continue cooking until the center of the prawn is not quite white.
Add prawns to steak.
Serve.

 

you guys are gourmets.

lazy! :

cheese burger!

pattie: lean beef mince, an egg, minced garlic, dried herbs of your choice, salt and pepper. some finely chopped wholemeal bread as a binder with the egg. hand mix into patties.

fry up in a lightly oiled pan. add butter on top of the patties as you fry them and top with cheese at the end.

get buns of choice, add mayo, sauces, garnish as required. it's a tasty burger & can be prepped & cooked in around 15 minutes.

could be grilled in the oven i suppose. takes a bit longer to cook.
===

ive been marinading chicken and oven roasting it with the marinade. lately. on a low heat, comes out super soft. delicious.

small oven tray lined with alfoil.
the end.

i keep mince flattened into portions in sealed sandwich bags in the freezer. keeps for ages. thaws quickly from frozen (in warm water) in the bags due to being thinly packed.

 

Oops sorry

 

That made me think of rissoles I haven't made in forever. Little bit of tomato and bbq sauce, allseason, and lightly fried, diced onion, bacon and carrot. Bread crumbs for the binder as I always had it on hand, and thinly diced fresh herbs, cause they're very easy to grow. Kids are having that for dinner on Sunday night when they get back from their weekend with their mother.

I got lazy cooking the kids chicken one night, allseason, garlic salt, tomato and bbq sauce, olive oil. Turn 3 or 4 times while cooking. Tastes good, even the picky 7 yr old who's not super keen on chicken finishes it off. I prefer baking paper.

 

yeh basically a rissole. i have done the added sauces thing. dunno sometime i just feel like a cheese burger. i tend to crave fatty foods.

just plain old salads with an olive oil and apple cidar vinegar dressing is my ...healthier lazy option. i like pineapple and salmon and apple c. vinegar. feels good.

mixing other meats into the rissole can be a yummy option.

ultra lazy option is mini quiches i buy from the frozen foods aisle and grill them for about 10 minutes.
===

life is filled with mundane tasks! chicken...it's protein.

ive been eating occasionally lentil and tomato soup. just from cans. add a bit of olive oil. there are some nicer ones. takes as long as it takes to heat up. i use the microwave more these days. cheap and quick.

i have also a few concoctions for my old ma. such as an ultra protein and fibre banana smoothie. hi fibre hi cal. hi protein. and plenty of h2O


hi fibre oats with light coconut milk and butter and honey and milk and a bit of almond milk seems not to upset the digestion and rich in calories.

===
anyway your meals look pretty tasty.

 

I got tired reading this thread.
I'll take the horse scrotum frozen lasagna thanks.

There's a recipe in here that takes 45 minutes... I'm not fucking cooking for 45 minutes, I'll be god damn dead by then.

Also... Pots? Pans? Oven trays? I'm not cleaning more than one god damn pot or pan and ideally I'd eat it out of the pot too so I don't have to load a plate into a dishwasher. I'm 6 foot 5, I don't want to bend down to a 3 foot tall dishwasher with a plate....
You people call yourself lazy. Pfft.

The ideal recipe is microwaved popcorn.
Its ingredients are popcorn in butter.
The method is you put it in the microwave for a few minutes.

You eat it right out of the bag and then throw the bag out... Or just leave the bag with its few unpopped kernels on a bench/couch arm/floor next to bed untill you can muster up the time and/or energy to get rid of it a week from now.

If you're really lazy you just won't eat some days because getting food is a pain in the ass. The kitchen is a 7 second walk from here... Who the hell has that much energy?

Now THAT is a lazy meal.

Follow for my next post where if you're feeling REALLY energetic, I'll teach you how to make cheese and vegemite on toast.
Its a little harder than a bag of popcorn, but it's faster and tastier, and probably better for you.

No pictures because I can't be bothered...

 

the kid likes popcorn the sweet one in the green packet from woolies. it's cheap. and lazy.

i also get 'digestives' biscuits. ahhyes lazy. and easily bored by mundane tasks.

ill follow that

but i dont toast the wholemeal.


----> flavours and textures combinations is what some added prep time adds to food i guess.


i also eat an apple with zero prep time!

 

yeh i eat eggs and bacon.

and eggplant fritters.
soak eggplant, coat in beaten egg with a bit of flour deep dry. eat. or fry them in oil.

im not planning on living until im 105 years old.
75 will do.